Ohhh SHIT---literally!

Happy Friday to me....I get home from work today to a 'interesting' smelling house.  I can't quite figure it out because I have a stuffy nose.  I run through in my mind, what it could be...sweaty towel on the dryer from hot yoga last night? No, continue walking. Kitchen, taco soup that I made last night, I did use beef instead of chicken, but can beef really smell that bad? Nope!  By this time all three animals have gathered to show me what had happened. I think the cats were pleased because it was a smell that Hank made...I round the corner to go upstairs to continue investigating this smell. Oh, surprise (well actually three) at the bottom of the stairs.  A slew of cuss words go through my head as I continue following the smell up the stairs.  I find three more surprises in our bedroom....WTF!  I immediately call mark in a PANIC to see what I should do.  (I knew what I had to do, but how to even start).  Plus, bodily fluids, solids, chunks, you name it are not my thing-in fact I am quite sure I am going to be a horrible mother because of my intolerance of nasty things. Anyway, Mark tells me that it can't wait until tomorrow when he gets home and I just have to clean it.  DUH, I am not a pig, I am not going to sit all night in a house that reeks of poo!

So, I grow a pair, get on some blue surgical gloves, carpet cleaner for pets (as if the 'pet' part is really going to make a difference at this point), a roll of paper towels, and a garbage bag. I man up, jam paper towel pieces up my nose, and begin the cleanup process.  First three piles done like a champ, only a few gags.  Me 1, diarrhea poo 0.

Upstairs changes quite quickly,  I stand to clean pile one, then decide to sit down to clean pile two and three.  Cleaning away, the smell is all the sudden stronger. So I start looking around...turns out, you guessed it, its all over the side of my boot and bottom of my jeans! I sat in it, FREAK OUT! How the hell did that happen you ask? Well the "genius" dog had covered the mother load poo with my running hat and my bra..did i mention they are (were) white in color. I strip down, and throw my hat and bra in the bathroom,  gagging so hard that I have tears rolling down my face, some may have been real tears because I hate this shit (literally) and it always happens when mark is gone.  diarrhea poo, for the winning points.  Me- 1, poo-1,000

Currently, there are paper towels over the carpet where every pile of poo was (so mark can inspect it when he gets home, and so i don't step on that carpet), a completely empty bottle of carpet cleaner, jeans, bra, hat, and boot on the bathroom floor and in the garbage there are two paper towel rolls, 4 sets of surgical gloves, and a whole lot of shit!

Enjoy your weekend everyone, hope its not shitty!  :)

Babies, Babies, and More Babies

Today one of my best, most dear, amazing friends officially became a REAL mom!  She had little Stella at 11:19, 4 days overdue- she came on her own account and made a grand entrance into this world!  It is killing me to live in Idaho, and not be able to see them.  I have to wait until Christmas break...boo!  Stupid miles that separate us!  Two things on my mind:

1.  Crazy that we are now at the stage of life where our friends are having babies...and the wedding stage is phasing out.  Life is a changin',  We are in our upper 20's so I guess that comes with the age.  Also, is it weird that I still feel like I am in high school and not a 'real' adult?  Even though I have a 'real' job, 'real' bills, and other 'real' adult responsibilities.  Is there ever an age where you actually feel like an adult?  Like oh, I am 35 today, today is my day to become an adult? Maybe becoming a parent might speed this process up a bit! Parents, is this true?  

2. I sort of have the b-a-b-y bug!  (Yes, it is spelled out so Mark doesn't panic! Love you babe!) I have had it before, and it seems to come and go.  And it is here now due to the fact that Court just had her baby to-day, my sister is pregnant, two people at work are prego, and I know a couple of friends that are trying, oh and not to mention Abby, the dog, who just had 5 puppies that I witnessed the birth!  It is CRAZY!!  Plus, there are 5 babies/toddlers in my family all under the age of 3-can't wait to see them in 2 weeks! There are literally babies surrounding every aspect of my life.   Mark and I do have a plan for kids, but it still is a ways off--and its top secret! :) Plus, we have so many things going on in this next year that it would not be an ideal time- lots of weddings, birthdays, and vacations. 

So to all I say...BABY! 

PUPPIES!!! A-MA-Zing!

Last night I witnessed the birth of puppies!  I was lucky to get to be there because Mark and Tom were gone hunting so I filled in for the night.  Finally, a good thing that came from hunting! (Sorry babe, but you know how I feel about it- thank God today is the last day of the season. Wahoo!) 

Anyway, it was an incredible experience, scary at times but none the less incredible!  I have never in my 27, I mean 21 years, seen the birth of animals.  I cannot believe how well the mama did!  Its amazing how she knew exactly what to do and where to lick the puppies to get them rearing to go!   Abby started having puppies at 6:30 and had one about every 30-45 minutes for the next few hours. It, was really less traumatic than I thought.  It's so fascinating that the puppies come out in little sacks and then the mama has to rip them open and basically lick each baby to life as soon as they are born they are on a serious mission to find milk--the first born was a little girl, and she is going to be a serious Roley-poly.  She stayed hooked on the entire time! And if she detached she would cry until she found her way back! The girl likes to eat! 

Jen and I did have to make an emergency run to the vet at 12:00 because one baby was stuck in the birthing canal.  We loaded up all the other 5 puppies and Jen hoisted 70lb Abby into the car and we were off.  That alone was quite the experience in itself!  The 6th pup did not make it, because it was too big for Abby to birth, so sad! The vets were so nice in helping Abby and they tried to resuscitate the puppy.  It was a life learning experience and I am so thankful that I got to experience it with one of my bests!  Thanks Jen, we were quite a team last night!   Just thought I needed to write down my experience while it's still fresh in my mind.  Although I will mention that we are running on 4 hrs sleep because we both had to work bright and squirrely so who knows how much sense I am actually making! P.S. labs, 4 black one yellow, 4 boys and one girl! I am in love! 

So far I am not a good blogger...or am I just THAT boring?

Bummer, I thought I was going to be a blogging champ.  Unfortunately, when you don't have children, aren't traveling, or doing anything too exciting, there is not much to blog about.  I could totally write about my pets, but then I would be the crazy animal lady, which in truth I really already am.   If it were socially acceptable and I lived in a mansion or on some acreage  I would adopt all of the cats  and a few dogs from the humane society! Mark and I are missing a few of those pieces, like the mansion and the acreage, oh an a few bucks to support our cat hoarding (which mark does not know about this idea yet)...so that's out!  Unless, we win the lottery, which we do have a 1 in 250,000 chance to win. According to lottery stats that's pretty good odds I guess (must think positive).  Every time Mark gets paid we have been buying an Idaho lottery ticket.  So far we have 5, the drawing is December 29th!  Wish us luck.  After we win, I will have to retire my blogging and have my butler type for me while I am getting fanned and fed grapes! :) 


Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and were very blessed! :)

Tis the season...a little early but what the hey

I know its not even Thanksgiving yet, but I couldn't resist decorating for Christmas!  Mark made me promise to wait until after Thanksgiving, but guess who worked all weekend...and I got bored. Hence me starting to blog.  Annnnnnd, therefore decorating for Christmas.   There is something about decorating for any holiday that makes me happy, especially decorating for CHRISTmas.  While listening to 'sounds of the seasons' on channel 833 and singing along while sipping my egg-nog coffee (a homemade treat), I decorated the fireplace mantle in the front room and was moving on to family room when all was going grand until I found this... which I thought we permanently fixed last year. UGH!

Look, ma, no hands!

Thank you Chewy!

     
A very sad story for Joseph....


After our first year of marriage, we headed home to Oregon to spend Christmas with my family. While we were gone we left Chewy (our 1 year old cat) home alone.  Don't begin to scold me...Mark's very gracious and wonderful parents agreed to come over and feed and litter box Chewy while we were gone.   Well, during our little vaca, Chewy got into some trouble, jumped on the fireplace and knocked Joseph onto the tile hearth and broke off BOTH Joseph's arms and broke a tile on the fireplace.  Mark was less than pleased he was pissed about the fireplace, and I was sad for poor Joseph.  Not only did he lose both arms, but his right hand's fingers were broken into a permanent 'shocker.' (If you are unfamiliar with the shocker don't look it up, but if you know what it is, you can have a good chuckle). Anyways....so that's Joseph's sad story.

Anyone know what's missing?

Ta-Da!  An almost new Joseph! 

Well, once again, I fixed Joseph and he is almost as good as new.  Let's hope this time the super glue lasts.  Done for now, I am hoping tomorrow Mark will agree to get our FAKE tree out of the garage so we can start decorating that.  


Yes, Oregon folk, we do have a fake tree.  I too agree that it is VERY SAD and LAME.  But isn't it more lame to pick a tree from a parking lot and pay a crap ton of money for it? Last year we invested in a very real looking fake tree.  As long as I am in Idaho, it will have to do. You Oregonians do not realize how lucky you are! So happy tree shopping! :)

So this is how you do it...

There are many days where I am what one could possibly call a 'blog stalker' not something I am proud of, but it does happen--especially when Mark is at work, it's snowing, and I still haven't showered for the day (but what's the point, it's already 3:00), so, I am basically trapped in my house.  I love reading blogs especially the ones that tell life's truths...not the ones where everything is a perfect little fairy tale (because lets face it, that's not life).  I do live great life, but nothing is perfect. :)  I love to hear about the funny/crazy/even more serious things life brings us.  It is nice to know that we are not the only ones facing these situations. We will see if I continue to 'blog' not sure if this is a one time, extremely bored, type blog attempt.  Therefore, I am also keeping this a secret until I fully commit.